Straight from Heaven droppin knowledge on your unworthy ass.<title> <script type="text/javascript">(function() { (function(){function b(g){this.t={};this.tick=function(h,m,f){var n=f!=void 0?f:(new Date).getTime();this.t[h]=[n,m];if(f==void 0)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+h)}catch(q){}};this.getStartTickTime=function(){return this.t.start[0]};this.tick("start",null,g)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var p=e>0?new b(e):new b;window.jstiming={Timer:b,load:p};if(a){var c=a.navigationStart;c>0&&e>=c&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-c)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load; c>0&&e>=c&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,c),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt",e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&c>0&&(d.tick("_tbnd",void 0,window.chrome.csi().startE),d.tick("tbnd_","_tbnd",c))),a==null&&window.gtbExternal&&(a=window.gtbExternal.pageT()),a==null&&window.external&&(a=window.external.pageT,d&&c>0&&(d.tick("_tbnd",void 0,window.external.startE),d.tick("tbnd_","_tbnd",c))),a&&(window.jstiming.pt=a)}catch(g){}})();window.tickAboveFold=function(b){var a=0;if(b.offsetParent){do a+=b.offsetTop;while(b=b.offsetParent)}b=a;b<=750&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var k=!1;function l(){k||(k=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",l,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",l); 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div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/15395194?origin\x3dhttps://jesussunbeam.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>  <div id="wrapper"> <div id="blog-header"><h1> <a href="http://jesussunbeam.blogspot.com/"> JesusSunbeam </a> </h1> <p></p></div>  <div id="content">  <div id="main"> <h2 class="date-header">Saturday, August 13, 2005</h2>  <div class="post"><a name="112395545104956690"></a> <div class="post-body"> <p> <div style="clear:both;"></div>You know, there are times in life when being piss drunk is really funny afterwards.<br /><br />I`m thinking this was one of those times.<br /><br />Caleb, a close friend of mine, and the possessor of one hell of a fine beard (not to mention the ability to grow the hair surrounding this beard whilst still possessing said beard), agrees to meet me at a coffee pub at which the entire group congregates every week. I go there, to find that no one has shown and that Caleb and I have a long, lonely night ahead of us.<br /><br />We eat, we swear, I smoke like the fucking country of Holland, and then we leave for the music/video/book store, where we buy our assorted shit and leave.<br /><br />Blah Blah Blah...my parents aren`t agreeable on this particular night, so sleeping anywhere besides my own damn bed is no longer an option. The night`s event is wine and a park..sort of hobo style. Caleb and I sneak out a bottle of this fruit wine shit that I love so much, and decide that perhaps we should make a trip to the park across the street from my house.<br /><br />We crack open this wine and I`m done within a half hour, and Caleb`s creeping up close behind. At this point, we are both intoxicated.<br /><br />After an hour of nostalgic recollection, we realize that hunger has set in and that McDonald`s, a mere 5 minute bike ride (longer and riskier apparently if you`re drunk) is completely in order.<br /><br />So, we haul our asses over to McDonald`s.<br /><br />Now come the funnier events of the evening.<br /><br />McDonald`s, being the fucking bunch of twats they are, close at midnight. Fat people go out late, right? They`re hungry for complete shitburgers at one in the morning, and upon seeing the minimum wage jack offs stacking chairs, we decide that we too, are still jonesing for a shitburger.<br /><br />We go through the drive through. I`m not saying that by any means our idea was original, but we found it hilarious due to the setting in of our fruity concoction. Now, they were very nice about it, but they fucking well better have been, we waited behind the manager`s fucking buddy in his gleaming pickup truck for at least TEN MINUTES. Both of us came up with ideas as to how to complain or get back at McDonald`s, and unfortunately, we were stuck on urinating on their business.<br /><br />When we got served, we got to sit outside and have the food brought to us. That`s pretty good. I liked that and retract all bad things said about McDonald`s.<br /><br />But that didn`t stop us from being pissed at the time.<br /><br />The McDonald`s escapade ended up being a short session of how to curse at corporations without breathing or being understandable. When two hicks pulled up in their truck, we laughed when it took both of their brilliant fucking minds to figure out the place was closed. (They made it to the fucking door, I guess they were planning to sit on the floor because the chairs were stacked..dipshits.)<br /><br />Then we departed, having eaten well, and cursed like sailors at the entire corporation that is McDonald`s.<br /><br />Caleb pissed on things. This part of the story becomes funnier every time I think of it. Now, Caleb has a thing..he pisses on things that will make him laugh when, due to necessity, people touch them..things such as door handles, car door handles..basically door handles of all kinds (think of that next time you go for that extra pudding in the fridge..has Caleb been there? Great weight loss solution..).<br /><br />Both of us are younger drivers, and he decided to urinate on the door handle of a building that has something to do with preventing certain young people from driving..but we were convinced that the bastards had put cameras around the place, so we hid our faces very poorly and urinated. Hilarity ensued..<br /><br />the sunbeam.<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> </p> </div> <p class="post-footer"> <em>posted by Blake @ <a href="http://jesussunbeam.blogspot.com/2005/08/you-know-there-are-times-in-life-when.html" title="permanent link">10:18 AM</a></em> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1047865895"><a style="border:none;" href="https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=15395194&postID=112395545104956690&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><img class="icon-action" alt="" src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" width="18"></a></span> </p> </div>   <div id="comments"> <a name="comments"></a> <h3>2 Comments:</h3> <dl> <dt id="c112464142783823975"><a name="c112464142783823975"></a> At <a href="#c112464142783823975" title="comment permalink">9:23 AM</a>, <span style="line-height:16px" class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" alt="Blogger" style="display:inline;" /></span> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/11220619186587522891" rel="nofollow">SAGAMAN</a> said... </dt> <dd> <p>Hey...<BR/><BR/>I'm the guy who pisses on things. See you next friday blake heheh</p> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-553197633"><a style="border:none;" href="https://www.blogger.com/comment/delete/15395194/112464142783823975" title="Delete Comment" ><span class="delete-comment-icon"> </span></a></span> </dd> <dt id="c112863138268323181"><a name="c112863138268323181"></a> At <a href="#c112863138268323181" title="comment permalink">1:43 PM</a>, <span style="line-height:16px" class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon"><img src="https://resources.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" alt="Blogger" style="display:inline;" /></span> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/18242964848384157612" rel="nofollow">Gi Man</a> said... </dt> <dd> <p>Well one thing for sure you need to call this man the "URINATOR"<BR/><BR/>HAs sagaman likes to urinate on things I to have a little story one time me and him was at McDicks on ontario st. and there was a bike parked outside the entrance and the bike had a spongee seat lets say I didn't want to be the guy to seat on that seat.</p> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1289892334"><a style="border:none;" href="https://www.blogger.com/comment/delete/15395194/112863138268323181" title="Delete Comment" ><span class="delete-comment-icon"> </span></a></span> </dd> </dl> <p> <a class="comment-link" href="https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/15395194/112395545104956690">Post a Comment</a> </p> <p> <a href="http://jesussunbeam.blogspot.com/"><< Home</a> </p> </div>   </div> <div id="sidebar">  <div id="profile-container"><h2 class="sidebar-title">About Me</h2> <dl class="profile-datablock"><dt class="profile-img"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/00565135570874709484"><img src="//willzhead.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/jesus_football.jpg" width="70" height="80" alt="My Photo"></a></dt> <dd class="profile-data"><strong>Name:</strong> <a rel="author" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/00565135570874709484"> Blake </a></dd> </dl> <p class="profile-textblock">I have a clear monopoly on all things awesome. The brutality and competitiveness of this situation doesn`t phase me, despite the fact that I`m constantly in danger of being assassinated by those who cannot stand to see someone be so blatantly awesome.</p> <p class="profile-link"><a rel="author" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/00565135570874709484">View my complete profile</a></p></div>  <h2 class="sidebar-title">Previous Posts</h2> <ul id="recently"> </ul> <p id="powered-by"><a href="http://www.blogger.com"><img src="http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif" alt="Powered by Blogger" /></a></p>   </div>  </div> <div id="footer"> <p> </p> </div>  </div> </body> </html>